Finally.. after months of absolutely no demand whatsoever, the third and final chapter… the “Return of the Jedi” if you will… (oh, wait.. that’s not the final chapter anymore).. ok, the “GODFATHER 3” of our goofy security camera videos trilogy has been compiled. Please withhold your applause til the end.
In the event you’ve been living under a rock, under a tree, on a deserted island… Here’s the premise: For every security camera we produce, we do a video test…. and put those on the inter-tubes for your viewing pleasure. Back in the day, we would occasionally do silly stuff while making these camera demos, primarily to amuse ourselves and hopefully make the videos entertaining AND informative. And while we don’t really do these sillier demo videos anymore, we had some fun making them at the time. Plus, they do in fact show off the video quality of the cameras… so we figured we might as well compile them, so that someday, someone, somewhere in the universe might get a chuckle out of them.
So this is it.. the last of the silly stuff. As usual, we’ve got our 2 trusting guinea pi.. uh, ‘actors’, Ian and Jose.
…who have always been ready to put their expendable lives in jeopardy… to risk life, limb, and sanity just to demonstrate to the the world the difference between 1 megapixel HD-CVI box cameras and 3 megapixel IP bullet cameras. The responsibility that rests on these heroes’ shoulders would turn most to puddles of liquid Jell-o, but these hearty men soldier on, unafraid of how their immortalized buffoonery will besmirch their family names for generations to come. Anyway, on with the show…
1) Traffic Cone Beat-down
Day / Night IR Demo – CVIOB-EL1MPIR50-D2-E – 720p HD-CVI Indoor/Outdoor IR Bullet Square Economy Cam
Among those of us in the know… traffic cones have a reputation for being jerks.
Always have. So it was no great surprise to us that when a jerky cone in our warehouse made a flippant remark in Ian’s general direction one day, he went absolutely ballistic and gave it a beat-down to end all cone-related beat-downs.
In this video, we see Ian displaying his defining talent… balancing gardening tools.
Name says it all, folks.
Once every three hundred and fifty-three years (give or take).. a portal to a mystical, magical martial arts tournament opens up in our warehouse, and all manner of deadly ninja demons come to challenge us to random fights in the middle of our tech support sessions. Usually we just ignore them til they get bored and leave, but every once in a while they catch us at a bad time and we have to “take out the trash”. And that’s exactly what happens here.
Much like traffic cones… the bags of Styrofoam packing peanuts in our warehouse can occasionally get a bit of an attitude. Maybe it’s because their soft spongy innards will soon be used to ensure the safe travels of our DVR’s when we send them out into the world. But in this case, we suspect this particular bag had a bone to pick with Ian… a personal vendetta… judging by the sheer ferocity of the attack. The bag just thew itself upon Ian’s weak and helpless body from 20 feet up.
It was at this point that Ian’s savior Heath heard his girlish screams… and came sprinting to the rescue.
Heath, the tragic hero
Using his famed bare-handed hunting skills he typically reserves for bears and mountain lions, Heath bravely wrestled the bag off of Ian’s ravaged person, and then, tragically, despite his valiant selflessness was consumed by the non-biodegradable bag-creature while Ian limped away to bandage his wounded pride.
After his near fatal battle with a sentient bag of Styrofoam packing peanuts, Ian decided it was high time he learn how to defend himself. So after he saved up about 150 bucks, he started regularly attending a ninjitsu school hidden in the back of an abandoned Sizzler restaurant, where he learned his stealthy skills from a ninja sensei cleverly disguised as a hobo. Sadly, after building his confidence though several victorious battles, he later lost his new-found ninja prowess due to amnesia he acquired in a tragic break-dancing mishap.
One day, someone took a big bite out of Ian’s p.b.& j. sandwich, then re-wrapped it in foil and put it back in the break room fridge. Ian, understandably took exception to this, as his wife had spend days making that sandwich. He suddenly became suspicious of everyone. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.. or then, I guess. Ian thought the evidence could be found on the security camera footage, but sadly, someone, possibly the culprit, unplugged the 3 megapixel camera facing the refrigerator. So he took his frustration out on poor Jose.. who simply wanted to spend his lunch break drinking his quadruple-mocha-frappe-whip-latte in peace. The world was never quite the same after this.
Following the infamous P.B.&J. flame out, Jose developed a dark side. He wasn’t taking guff from anyone, least of all from another uppity traffic cone. Look at the pure confidence in which he just casually yet menacingly tosses that cone to one side… like a rapper dropping the mic after besting someone in an acapella rap battle. He just doesn’t give a darn, and he doesn’t care who knows it.
Witness the moment Jose’s new-found dark side finally took hold. Spooky, ain’t it? Whatever you do, don’t stare directly into his eyes while saying his name 3 times backwards. Nothing will happen, and you’ll have wasted your time completely.
Well, that’s all, folks. We’ll be back next month with a decidedly less amusing but probably more informative article. Thank you for your patience.